So many of us go through life experiencing difficulty after difficulty, never getting the chance to enjoy our lives or genuinely be happy. But it doesn't need to be like this, I'm here to show you the main thing that you're in control of that determines your happiness. I love seeing happy people, and happy people make other people happy so just by being happy yourself, you can spread these positive feelings with the people you come into contact with, and you never know the knock on effect it could have as the day goes on. So what is this magic thing we're in control of that can brings us incredible happiness or heartbreaking sadness in a split second?
In every moment, you have control over your focus, so what are you going to focus on? A lot of people focus on 'whats wrong' or they are focusing on their downfalls and then they wonder why they are feeling terrible. In every moment, you can change what you're focusing on in a split second and when you start to harness the power of your focus, you can stop forcing yourself into negative mindsets and keeping yourself there forever. Start focusing on positive things such as the opportunity in a situation, all the amazing things in your life that you're grateful for or even focus on your feelings of excitement and your mood is going to drastically change. If you really want to be happy, you can do so in any situation just by changing what your thought patterns are. Your mind is like a great machine, so when you look for reasons to be sad and angry, you start to find them everywhere and vice versa for positive thoughts and emotions...because when you set your focus to something, you brain goes into overdrive trying to find things related or connected, so make sure that you are consciously setting your focus to something that benefits you. I am grateful for so many different things in my life, that I realise how stupid it is for me to get into a negative state and think that my life is rubbish, because I know that the fact i'm breathing is something to be massively happy about.
If you wait for things to be perfect...
My brand new car broke last week and it has been such a horrible experience dealing with it over the last week, with it being not covered by the warranty etc as well as the other things that i've been dealing with in my own life. I'm only human after all, so i've been angry and i've been upset about it at times, but things like this are always going to happen and there is nothing we can do about it so we need to find a way to be happy, even when there are things happening in our life that are really easy to get upset and frustrated about and this is when our happiness is bulletproof. There is a lesson that i've learnt over the last week and it is that you're not genuinely happy until you can maintain your positive feeling regardless of the events that are happening in your life. So what did I do? I made a list of reasons why the problem with my car isn't the end of the world and I then wrote a list of 10 things that i'm grateful for and this instantly pulled me out of my negative 'feeling sorry for myself' state. Don't wait for things to be perfect before you are happy, because you'll never be happy. Be happy despite everything else...and you'll always be happy.
"Don't wait for things to be perfect before you are happy, because you'll never be happy"
Don't get caught up chasing happiness
I've mentioned this before on Instagram and its such an important point to make and something that you really want to make sure you avoid doing in your own life, because it's a path that never delivers the happiness it promises and leaves you feeling empty and depressed. If we wait for things to fall in place to be happy, we will be waiting forever. You can always be happy in any moment if you choose to be, but some people enjoy the attention that comes with being angry or constantly being involved in problems and drama. Be happy now, just because you can be. I'm grateful and fascinated by the fact we can even control our thoughts and feelings, the fact we can get in a heap of metal and drive around the country and the fact our body runs automatically. There are unlimited things to be grateful for and there are unlimited things to be pissed off about...you choose.
Thoughts are everything
Once you start to understand the fact that YOU control your thoughts, you can start to take charge and stop the negative thoughts from constantly creeping in and taking over your life and stealing your happiness at every opportunity. The most common belief that people seem to have is that everything has to be black or white, right or wrong, good or bad but this stops you from ever enjoying yourself because your constantly thinking about whether the situation is a good or a bad one instead of just being happy regardless. Any situation can be enjoyable or a situation from hell depending on your view of it, so start training yourself to
A) Look for the good in every situation, thing or person.
B) Make enjoying yourself, the main priority in every situation (If you set out to enjoy yourself no matter what...then, well, you'll probably enjoy yourself.
What can you do about it?
You can start taking responsibility. It's easy to say that you're annoyed, angry or broke because of somebody else but it takes much more character to be able to be happy and stand there with a smile on your face. Your happiness and your thoughts and feelings are the only things you actually have control over in your life so don't fall into the ever growing pile of zombies who are letting the rest of the world control their happiness. Yes, things go wrong. Yes, bad things happen but this is going to always be the case, so what is something you could be happy about TODAY?
Write it down, think of a list of reasons WHY you are grateful for it and really let the gratitude and the appreciation fill your body and let the good feelings take over. YOU control your happiness so stop letting external sources tell you how to feel.
Once I realised I can feel genuine happiness with a change in my focus, it was a game changer and since this realisation, I never let my bad and poisonous moods stay and I always make sure I replace them with a much more enjoyable state by changing my focus and putting some thought into how much of a blessing that life actually is and taking a few moments to think of all the different things that I'm grateful for.