“Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.”
The most beautiful and amazing life can feel like hell if you constantly worry and never take time to just enjoy yourself, no strings attached. We often make problems bigger in our head, exaggerating the consequences or the horrible outcomes that are coming our way, to the point where the actual event is less traumatic than the time running up the event. Worrying creates a prison inside your head and its so easy to get trapped inside this prison, but I want to provide you with everything you need to start creating a life free of worry and that is full of happiness, as it should be.
Everything always works out
Bad things have probably happened in your life before and you're still here aren't you? That's because things happen, you deal with it and carry on with your life. How many times have you feared or worried about something only to find out that the thing is not bad anyway? I've done it so many times and I've tried to re-program by brain to understand that no matter what happens, I will always be okay. Focus on solutions instead of how bad everything is and you will find that you have the answers for most of your worries already. You are much stronger and can deal with much more than you even realise. Don't let life have you trembling and worried in the corner.
Give the problem an empowering meaning
I have a tendency to worry about a lot of things, some are more normal than others, I worry about my car breaking down, I worry about losing my job, I worry about my friends suddenly not loving me anymore, I worry about my parents dying and I worry about lots of other things that are pointless or will probably never happen. It's important when having a growth mindset, to look at giving everything an empowering meaning as this helps you to see the situation for what it is, or could be.
If my car breaks down, I can get another or I can ride my bike for a while and improve my fitness and save petrol money. I wouldn't want to lose my job but if I did, it would mean I would have more time to grow my own business and it gives me a chance to experience different work. I don't think my friends would ever stop loving me, but if they did, I've had good times with them and it would free space up in my life to get new and different friends that would bring different things to my life. I wouldn't EVER want my parents to die, but if/when it happens, I will be able to celebrate the life of 2 amazing people and it would force me to step up and be more responsible and to make them as proud as possible. Those are just a few examples, but if you take your worries in your own life, and give them a new meaning or outcome, you will be able to have much less worry and negative emotions attached to the situation. EVERYTHING can be given a new meaning, you just have to give yourself time to come up with it.
What really is the worst that could happen?
This might scare at first, but I promise it makes you feel better, not worse. Whatever your worrying about, rack your brains and write down the worst possible outcome for it, and then once you've done this, really understand that you could deal with the worst case situation and when you do this, the fear attached to the situation should be less intimidating. Once you understand the worst case situation, you can create an action plan to start taking the driver seat, instead of just being a passenger or an onlooker for all of your problems.
Creating an action plan for yourself
Creating an action plan puts YOU in charge of your life. Instead of worrying that my friends are going to suddenly not love me anymore, I could make a plan to prevent this ever happening. I could make a list of actions that would increase the amount of love in my friendships. Compliment friends, motivate and push them, organize fun things with them, take a genuine interest in them or treat them to a surprise gift every now and them. Can you see how I went from WORRYING about something, to actually improving that area of my life? I went from worrier and victim, to taking charge and putting things in order to prevent the dreaded situation happening. If it's a situation that you can do nothing to prevent such as my parents dying, I can make time to do things I enjoy with them before it's too late, I can send them a text letting them know how much I appreciate them and I could do something around the house that I wouldn't normally do that would help them out and by doing these things, the quality and the amount of happiness in the relationship increases and no, I can't make them live forever, but making the most of them while they're here is the next best thing. You can flip any situation to a positive one if you WANT to. Some people enjoy worrying and moaning because of the attention that it brings...don't become one of these people.
Write down 3 lessons you can learn ready for the situation
Problems are sent from above to help us grow, and should be used as the fuel for our success. Don't let your problems and misfortunes surrender you to your knees for a live of stress, anger and worry...use every problem and let it make you a stronger and better-equipped person to handle to events of life. If you are worried about something, do the techniques already mentioned but also try and think of 3 skills or things to research that will set you up to deal with the setback much easier.
If you're worried about losing your job, learn how to be a better employee, learn how to be more charismatic and learn how to create value in the workplace...do this and you'll probably end up getting a promotion instead of getting sacked. Worried that a girl will reject you? Learn about what attracts women, learn to be more charismatic (this is a lesson that will help you in every area of life) and also learn how to dress smarter...who knows, she might ask you out instead of rejecting you. Life is all about learning and growing as a person and what better way to prepare for a storm than to prepare before it comes?
Change your state
No matter who you are, you've experienced it when you're so stuck in worry and negative feelings, that you can't force yourself to smile and you wish everyone would leave you alone. This is called being in a negative state and the quickest way i've found to change your state is to go for a quick run, to put your favourite song on and dance like a mad man or just to focus on the things in your life that you're grateful for. When your stuck with your head in the problem, it's hard to see past the problem, which is why it's so easy to come up with solutions and improvements for other peoples life. Change your state. Stop worrying, smile, bust a few shapes, do anything but don't sit and worry.
A good life is decided by your thoughts and views on things, and I hope i've given you a toolkit that will help you combat your worries and maybe even turn them into a life-improving opportunity or experience. It's up to you whether you want to live in a prison within your head or a live a worry-free life full of happiness using every negative experience as fuel for your fire of success. I know which one i'd rather live. In usual Constant Kaizen fashion, I'm going to leave you with an action plan.