Everybody is out to either get 1 over on you, upset you or make you feel or look silly right? Wrong. The world works FOR you, not against you, so stop walking around with a victims view of the world, because victims are helpless and things happen TO them, instead of FOR them. Before I understood these things, I would switch to an angry mess with the slightest insult or someone not treating me how I expected to be treated, and this bad mood and sense of injustice would follow me round like a bad smell for the rest of the day...not anymore, you can't put me in a bad mood, even if you try. The only person who can affect my mood now, is the same person who has always had total control (without knowing it)...and that person is ME.
Victim vs Victor
As mentioned before, we want to transition from victim to victor, as this gives us the power we need to be in control of our lives. Victims get victimised and victors have a strange habit of winning, even when they lose. Victims let things happen to them and victors make things happen FOR them, and even when things don't go their way, they use that setback/inconvenience as a boost for their personal growth or happiness. Let me give you an example, if someone is rude to me in a shop, I could become hurt and upset and create an argument that escalates to the store manager being called out and by the time i'm in the managers office 20 minutes later, red faced and worn out, I've forgotten what I was even angry about. 20 minutes or more wasted and i'm in a bad mood for the rest of the day. If I was being a victor, I could notice this shop assistant being a little bit rude or off with me and I could choose to not take it personally as they're probably having a bad day and even decide to make an effort to turn their frown upside down and leave them with a smile on their face. Just by giving them a compliment, smiling at them and actually treating them like a human, i've saved that 20 minutes, feel happy in myself because I put a smile on someone else's face and if i'm lucky, they might not even charge me 5p for a bag ;)
Nothing has a meaning
Nothing has a meaning...APART FROM THE MEANING YOU GIVE IT. That means that whenever ANYTHING happens, you can give it a meaning that upsets you and makes you feel like everyone is against you, or you can give it a bit more of an empowering meaning. Start doing this and before you know it, it will be a habit, and once you do this automatically, you might even start to become happy by things that previously ruined your day, imagine that. This is sometimes easier said than done so why not get a bit of practice in and come up with a time you took something personally and try and give it a new meaning that isn't so offensive to you, and if you really want to start making changes in your life, list a few ways you could prevent or improve that situation next time something similar happens. When you change your view on something, that something changes. Your view/meaning for things is the only view you have access too, but you can always change your view to benefit you more, always.
People aren't just out to upset you
It is humans nature to think that we're the only person in the world and our life is the only one that exists, but contrary to common belief, other people do exist with their own lives, problems and insecurities of their own so next time someone offends you or it seems like they're in a bad mood, take a second to remember that they could just be having a bad day and that they didn't actually leave the house just to annoy you. If somebody does try to upset you, only YOU can be upset by what they've said. Since having weight and self esteem issues when I was younger, I have always been quick to turn defensive and just mirror that persons negativity, but over time, I'm training myself to have a more positive reaction, whether this is laughing at the situation or just making myself smile, but I notice this improves a situation quickly, rather than getting upset and making ANY situation worse.
Build your self esteem
This is so important if you want to accept yourself, be happy and improve yourself. Building your self esteem will benefit you because when something might normally offend you, you can have the maturity and ability to just not let it affect you or ruin your day. If you KNOW you're amazing, 1000 people could tell you that you're a 'prick' or that you're useless and you won't believe it. If you think you're useless, you don't need anybody to help make you feel bad, but if someone does do something that offends you, this is going to really affect you and you will genuinely believe whatever negative thing they've said to you. Start doing things wherever possible to improve your self esteem, just a google search could change your life or if you want to go more in depth to the topic, check out the book Six Pillars of Self Esteem for a full understanding and mastery of self esteem and loving yourself.
“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.”
Proactive vs Reactive
This is a major distinction, and once understood and actually used in your life, will start to empower you and make you realise that you're in control of your life and your own happiness. Let me give you an example from my own life, if you make plans with someone and they cancel last minute, you could react either way, but here are the 2 different outcomes
Reactive; I can't believe they disrespected me like that and cancelled on me, they never were much of a reliable friend, what a waste of a day, nothing ever works out for me and peoples always flop on me.
Proactive; Thats a shame, I was looking forward to that, but never mind, Joe is obviously caught up today, how could I spend the time that I now have free? I could do anything I want. I'm really excited to have an adventure of a day now.
Can you see how just in this example, the 2 different mindsets play out very differently, so imagine if you were being proactive instead of reactive in every situation of life, you'd be much happier.
Ignore online abuse
This goes without saying, but never pay attention to online abuse, or else you're going to be in for a tough run. People online who just hate and leave offensive comments and messages only do so as they have very low self esteem and by making someone else feel bad, it makes them self feel better and more important. Because they are hidden behind the internet and the safety of their computer screens, they know that they can say pretty much whatever they like without consequence. Block someone if they are horrible to you, you only want people in your life who benefit you, help you grow and make you happy, so it doesn't matter if it's Facebook, Youtube, Twitter or whatever other social network there is, there will be trolls, but block them, smile, carry on enjoying your life.
Everybody knows what it's like to be hurt, to be offended or be made to feel small and its not a nice feeling but hopefully i've equipped you with everything you need to never let this happen to you again because after all, we have more control of ourselves and our lives than we realise and you're not going to be able to reach your full potential if you're walking around sad and hurt about every little thing that happens or you get offended by. I want you to live an amazing and happy life, so give yourself the credit you deserve and don't be upset by little comments here and there, you're amazing, you just have to focus on the good.
As usual, here is an action plan for you.