"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school. But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything." - Muhammad Ali
(Good) Friends are such amazing thing to have in your life, they make you laugh, look out for you, share interests with each other and experience life together, but it can sometimes seem like good friends are so hard to come by, and we're left wondering if there any good friends left out there in the world waiting to be found...good news, there is, but you might need to change your approach and mindset of meeting people/making friends, and luckily for you, in this post i'll give you some clear and actionable advice towards improving your social life massively.
Why do you want more friends?
Before you start trying to make new friends, you need to understand why it is that you want new friends? There are a few reasons why answering this question helps, the first is that it helps you understand yourself and your needs more, and by knowing your needs, you are able to fulfil them much better and easier. Understanding the reason is also beneficial because you might want more friends to 'seem cool or popular', and if this was your reason for example, having more friends won't make you 'more cool' but there are other ways to make this happen, but thats a whole other story, but just understanding your needs and how to fulfil them is a great tool to use. A good starting points is so you don't feel lonely, so you have someone to share ideas with, someone who is there for you to go drinking with, it could be anything, only you know what it is for you.
What sort of friends do you want?
Deciding what sorts of friends you want is also a very powerful act/decision to make that will make your friend finding/making mission much easier and more successful. Do you want sporty friends? Money making friends? Friends who go out drinking a lot? Friends who are into reading and personal development? Once you've decided, start to think of some other characteristics you'd like your soon-to-be friends to have because once this is done, your conscious and subconscious mind will be on the lookout for characteristics related to the type of person you're trying to attract. Think of this like going to the shops, if you don't know what you want, you won't know where to look for it or even when/if you've found it. And the world is your shop, but as you already know, it's a very big shop with lots and lots of choice, so make a clear decision on it.
Where would these kinds of people hang out?
Now you know what you're looking for, it is going to much easier to find it. Using the shopping example once more, if for example you want a buy a DVD, you would know to go to the DVD section because this is the place that DVD's are known for hanging out. Let's say for example you wan't friends who are into sports, you could spend some time at sport-type environments, sports bars or join a sports club and make friends with your fellow competitors, and if you approach it like this, you would have much more look than walking round aimlessly wishing people would be your friend. Get friends that make you happy, smile, share interests with you and who improve your life. There are lots of people out their dressed as friends, saying their friends but aren't actually acting or treating you like a friend...think twice about whether these are the people you want in your life.
5 interactions everyday
This works on so many levels, so if you genuinely make an effort to have 5 interactions with people everyday, the results you will experience will be life-changing, because by getting out of your comfort zone and having these interactions, you're flexing and growing your social muscles, gradually becoming better and more comfortable at having conversations and building relationships until you get to the point where people are coming into your life seemingly by magic, but this is what happens when you make your intentions clear and take daily action...the universe gets out of your way and provides you with whatever it is you may need.
Build up empowering belief
We constantly have labels about ourselves that are controlling our daily feelings and actions and we all have beliefs in our subconscious about ourselves, whether it is “I'm amazing in social situations and i'm great at making friends” or “People seem to find me awkward” or “Speaking to strangers is scary” or literally a million other combinations that have been built up over time. I didn't even realise I had these beliefs about myself but once you're aware they exist, you start noticing them all the time which is why it's so important to build up an empowering belief to boost your social efforts. I will give you an example of an empowering belief and then explain how to strengthen this belief, and by giving you a real life example, it will hopefully help you to understand how to implement it into your own life. An empowering belief could be that talking to strangers is a fun experience and a chance to meet new people, and then to strengthen the belief, you could go out and try and have great interactions with people you've never met before and each time you do this, your brain stores it as evidence that strengthens that belief. Whereas if you have a belief that everyone finds you awkward, you will go into situations awkwardly and get treated in an awkward fashion which basically strengthens your negative belief, it can be a vicious circle, but if you approach it in a smart way, you can use this technique to boost any area of your life.
Friends and friendship are something that comes down to personal preference, and peoples ideas and views of these matters vary so much, so don't try and run your life through somebody else's eyes as what makes them happy, could ruin your day, and vice versa. Decide what YOU want,what sort of friends YOU want and then take action towards bringing these people into your life, and remember to create value for people and treat people as you would like to be treated as this can go a very long way in creating, building and improving a your friendships. It's just as important to BE a good friend, as well as looking for good friends. As always, here is an action plan for you to start making changes in your life today.