Why are you uncomfortable?
First of all, you need to understand that all fear is just an illusion, something only becomes scary when you decide so and then you start feeling fearful emotions and thoughts. The discomfort comes when you're in a state of fear, because you can't relax or your stop yourself from worrying. If you actually take a step back and take a proper look, you might be able to work out what it is that you're fearing or uncomfortable about and once you know what it is that is actually causing the fear, you can start to create a plan for reducing the fear or completely eliminating it. You can't beat your fear if you don't even know what the fear is. So take a real hard look at your uncomfortable situation and start to pinpoint exactly what it is that makes you uneasy and then ask yourself...
I've been there too, feeling like you're going to die on the spot, you want to talk but words won't come out, you want to do something but fear has paralysed you...it's horrible and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy which is why i've created this post, to give you everything you need to start becoming comfortable in the most uncomfortable situations, because as we all know, all the good stuff is found on the other side of the comfort zone.
Whats the worse thing that could happen?
By asking yourself this question, you mentally prepare yourself for the worst case scenario which goes back to the saying of “Hope for the best, prepare for the worst” because if you are prepared for a thunderstorm and it only rains, you will be relieved about it. Also, look back through your own life, and look at how many times the WORST possible situation actually happened, and you will realise that things always work out in your favour, and this should fill you with confidence because if the worst situation barely ever happens and you're prepared for it anyway...what IS the worse that could happen?
Build up your muscle
Everything we do has a 'muscle' and each time we perform a specific action, the muscle become stronger and stronger until it becomes automatic, similar to driving a car in the sense that it is so complicated and advanced at first, that you will make mistakes and you will mess up, but if you keep doing it, you become smoother and smoother and eventually more confident....and this is what we want to do with your discomfort. Whatever it is that makes you awkward, think of variations that you could create and that is going to be your 'workout' and then routinely practice and train until your ability improves. You wouldn't expect your body to completely transform overnight, but you will start to see results if you push your comfort zones and consistently train, and it's exactly the same with your discomfort...how can you start training today?
Change your view of the situation
Nothing has a meaning, apart from the meaning you give it, so when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, it's because your viewing the situation as uncomfortable, instead of focusing on the opportunity of the moment, the whole reason we even get emotional about it is because it matters. If you think of a situation as horrible instead of as an 'opportunity', then you're going to be in a very negative state which is the worst place to be coming from. Why not give the situation an empowering meaning that actually benefits you instead of paralysing you with fear or upsetting you? If you're sat in a room with people you don't know, you could sit there in silence being too scared to make a noise or you could see the situation as a chance to push your comfort zone, improve your social skills and meet some new people, do you see how changing the view on the situation completely changes the feel of the whole situation. It's only an uncomfortable situation if you let it be, all good things happen outside of your comfort zone so next time you feel uncomfortable, try and look for the opportunity in the situation and rock it!
Fake it til you make it
It's crazy to think, but your mind and your body are so connected, that when you smile, you get a rush of positive endorphins to the brain and vice versa for when you pull a sad face or frown so a great way to hack your brain and get one over on your discomfort is to just put a big smile on your face and 'try' and feel happy whenever you feel the fear or awkward feelings creeping in, and by doing this, your brain will get a rush of positive feel good endorphins which takes you out of the negative state that you were in, because thats all it is, a state. You are not an angry person, you're a person feeling anger. You're not stupid, you did something stupid. You're not happy, you're in a happy state...does this make sense? If you ever feel de-motivated, happy, sad, inspired or anything else, it's just your emotions and the state that you're in, and this can be changed in a split second depending on what you choose to focus on and what you choose to do with your body. You probably won't feel amazing if you had a sad look on your face and your body is slouched compared to if you have powerful body language and a massive smile on your face.
Make a Game Plan
Normally when I get caught off guard in a situation, I start thinking of loads of things I could have done that would have prevented me feeling awkward, so why not take these things, consciously improve on them as they are things that will benefit me in the real world. If I'm awkward speaking to new people, go somewhere and start speaking to random people and before-long, you'll realise that it's not that bad after all. If you get super nervous on stage and you have a presentation to do, you could enroll yourself onto a public speaking course. Do you see? You can be a victim to each situation or you can become a victor and use each situation to give you clear things to improve on. Life isn't about a set destination, we're going through doing the best we can in each situation and trying to become the best version of ourselves & we can let our mistakes define us, or we can USE our mistakes to define is, big difference.
Getting out of your comfort zone is where the growth is at, so I hope i've helped take away some of the fear associated with doing so. Once you get out of the comfort zone, and do so a few times, you start to feel more alive and you realise that you really are in control of your life. Don't just read this post though, take the information in and use it, because the information is only valuable once it's used, so to make sure you take action towards creating the good life, here is an action plan for you to follow.